To My Fans.

I am planning on performing a song of mine at open mic night down in Cedar hopefully this week. However I am unsure which song I want to perform. So I was thinking of conducting a poll among those that are familiar with my work. Well lets make it a little less formal. If you have any preferences post them here, and I'll make a decision. I'll let you know how the performance goes. If it goes.

Lightning Storms

Hey Garit, is this post better? Does this meet your criteria for a post? For all who are wondering, unless your post includes science, close-ups of braided wires, a rant on PETA, or a self-taken picture of your forehead, Garit does not consider it a true post.

How Is This News?

Algae-dyed polar bears puzzle Japan zoo visitors

I am hungry

Maybe I will make some spaghetti.

POST WAR

...Is officially on. Get ready for a whole month of worthless posts. Garit is going down.

Object: Post more in the month of September than Garit.

Birth

Crazy Uncle Dan. My brother Derek and his wife Devin just had a baby girl, Anisa Afton Jackson. She has a weird belly button in the picture they sent. Besides that she looks entirely normal. Congratulations to them. If I ever get pictures in my email I'll probably slap 'em on here. Since I'm sure my blog readers are dying to look at a picture of a baby.

Johnny Depp In A Dark Shadows Movie?!?!?!?

None of you care. I understand that. In fact I would be blown away if any of you had the slightest idea of what I am talking about. But believe me when I tell you this is the most excited I have ever been about any movie.

Dark Shadows was a TV series that originally aired from 1966-1971. It was a super low budget daytime gothic soap that centered around the cursed Collins family, who had lived on an estate in New England for hundreds of years. The main character is Barnabas Collins, a vampire who has been chained in a coffin for 195 years, and is unwittingly released by a grave robber in 1966. It also bounces back and forth in time, dealing with generations of the Collins family that are plagued by werewolves, witches, ghosts, etc.

My dad watched it as a kid, and introduced me to the reruns of it when I was like 5 years old. I still remember sneaking down to watch the reruns with my dad when they would air in the middle of the night. Later on I watched them on Scifi channel with my younger brothers and sisters. We have all always been huge fans. But it has always been sort of a secret. The story itself had some really quality moments, but it was really low budget, very campy, and very drawn out (like any soap opera). So it wasn't exactly the kind of show you brought your friends over to watch. Even so, I always knew that there were a lot of closet fans out there. In 1991 they tried to make a new Dark Shadows series that was cancelled after the first season. I thought it was dead and gone forever.

I never knew this, but in an interview with Entertainment Weekly last year, Depp stated: "When I was a kid I wanted to be Barnabas... He was super-mysterious, with that really weird hairdo and the wolf's-head cane." It has been confirmed that Johnny Depp's production company has bought the rights to make a Dark Shadows movie!!! Tim Burton is going to direct it, and it is pretty certain that Johnny Depp will play the part of Barnabas Collins. The story that I have secretly loved since I was five is now going to be a freaking blockbuster. It is so weird.

Johnny Depp will make a killer vampire.

Truly Disturbing

Pepperoni, anyone? I like that the pig looks so conflicted. It's how anyone would feel if they were asked to give the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good. This pig is a true hero. Why don't they make advertisements like they used to? The Victorian period was truly the golden age for disturbing advertisements.

Ghostwriter

Roll call- All readers who had a crush on Lenni on Ghostwriter in the early 90's please make it known here. The other day I was fooling around on Youtube and I remembered a certain episode where Lenni writes a song entitled, "You Gotta Believe". Ghostwriter helps come up with the lyrics, and then it becomes a hit and she shoots a music video with the help of her friends.



Cool, huh? I remember I was a big-time Lenni fan. So after watching this video a few days ago I decided to do some searching and find out what Lenni is doing today. She was played by the actress Blaze Berdahl. Naturally I first checked imdb. Unfortunately it didn't show a lot of recent work. So was Blaze just a flash in the pan? Is she just another former child star that quickly faded into obscurity? I had to be sure. I googled her name, and made a spectacular discovery. For all of you who don't care, just know there is a special place in hell reserved for you. Anyway, I find a website http://www.blazeberdahl.net/ and I click on it in eager anticipation. There I find out she does voice work: Commercials, advertisements, radio spots, audio books and such. Anything I'd know, you ask? BET YOUR LIFE! She is the voice of the Swiffer Duster commercial. HOW COOL IS THAT? I've heard Lenni a thousand times and I never knew. Oh yeah, she also does a bunch of stuff for HGTV, MTV, and FUSE.

Case closed. And I didn't even need a floating ghostly orb apparition with an affinity for words to help me along the way. Google is the new Ghostwriter.

I broke a guitar string.

Jobs are so hard to find in Cedar City. I give up. I am currently a self-employed novelist. I like the sound of that, but there's not much money in writing a mediocre fantasy novel at a snail's pace. I was hoping to perform some of my songs soon at the local coffeehouse, but one of my guitar strings snapped. Now what? Where are my priorities? Food or strings? This is a tough one.

One of the best feelings in the world is sticking it to the bookstore, by the way. I walked into my american indian class today surrounded by people who paid like 50 bucks for a used book. I basked in my glory as I stared down at my slightly worn copy of the same book with a well-placed pink 1$ sticker on the cover. BOOM SHAKA LAKA!

3-2-1 CONTACT

This intro music is so cool. It just popped into my head this morning. It is amazing the kind of stuff I remember from my childhood. The part on the trampoline and the apple getting sliced are ingrained in my head forever. I don't know why.

MY BLOG IS PINK

But that does not mean I won't punch every last one of you in the teeth.

But honestly I won't.... my blog is still pink.

I am 26 now, and I feel really weird and old, but young at the same time. Honestly it's a strange sensation that I can't explain, except that despite the weirdness of it I am actually feeling really good right now. Better than I have in a long time. It must be my Hitler Nazi Germany history class. Seriously though, it is good to have a roommate again. I was explaining to my brother last week that it was weird to have someone around me again. This whole summer I think I got a little cabin fever. It was only after I had someone around that I realized how strange I was. I kept bursting into song out of nowhere, and making jokes and laughing at myself and stuff. Anyway, lock your doors at night.

Besides the fact that I am unemployed in the world's most difficult place to get a job, I am really looking forward to this semester. Good classes, great company, and internet at my house again finally.

PINK BLOG

I Think I Am a Stalker... Or a Twelve-Year-Old Girl... Oh, Also a Brilliant Political Strategist

So I have a crush on a girl down here in Cedar but I've never talked to her before. So I found her blog through some mutual friend of a friend of a friend networking, and I read it. Am I a stalker? Am I a weird teenage girl? Please tell me I didn't just turn 26 today and I'm sneaking around blogs trying to find out about some girl I've never talked to. Man I am creepy.

By the way, no matter what Caleb tells you, I called McCain being the republican nomination after the Iowa caucuses, and I called the Sarah Palin VP pick a couple of days ago. So on top of being a creepy teenage girl trapped in a man's body, I am also a brilliant political analyst. I think Palin was a good pick btw. I don't know if McCain will win, but it sure made the race interesting. Oh and please be honest with me. If you thought Sarah Palin looked like a hot secretary during the VP announcement, then please admit it in the comments here. I am in no way trying to devalue her as a person or as a political candidate, I just think she looked like a hot secretary and I liked it. This blog is about honesty.

For All You Apple-philes Out There...

Adam introduced me to the band Grandaddy, and I really liked the music video for the song "Jed's Other Poem (Beautiful Ground)" The song is pretty cool, I like the effects. Anyway, watch this music video to see the only Apple Computer I would ever consider owning. If you own this computer you are really cool. If you own any other Apple Computer you are a fan boy and a bandwagoner. So good luck with that. By the way Garit, Linux sucks as well. NASA uses Windows. Without further ado, I give you a cool music video:

Threadless Designs

So my cousin Ken and I are collaborating on a little project... He is a great artist. Graduated from VanArts art school in Vancouver Canada. Anyway. I have the type of clever, witty, pop culture/word play imagination to come up with killer Threadless T-shirt designs. So here's the deal. I come up with an idea or a concept and Ken executes it with his mad art skillz. He gets paid, I get free T-shirts. I am like the weird little African bug eating bird that chills out on the back of the artsy wildebeest.

We haven't made any submissions as a team yet, but he's working on some of my ideas. I will keep you all posted.

busy busy busy busy busy etc.

Some people get to do ATV tours for a job... Some people get family and friends... We all get something right?

I am ready for school to begin again and be close to my friends Kid AJ and Jebediah and also I am excited to share an apartment with my brother Thom. Yes that is with an "H". It was my only stipulation when I agreed to call him by his middle name. So Thom and Dhan will be living the college life down in Cedar for a semester. I'm not sure what I'm going to do after that. He's moving back up for a mission. I might move back up too. But I have plenty of time to decide that this semester.

Goal for upcoming semester: Visit abandoned polygamist compound in remote area north west of Cedar City.
Related Goal: Don't get murdered.

Authorship

I am writing a fantasy novel. It's actually coming along well. When I am a New York Times Bestselling author I won't remember any of you.

My Glasses Snappend In Half

I had to buy some new glasses because a tree punched me in the face.

Good Riddance Manny Ramirez.

Batman was amazing. "Want to see a magic trick?" LOL

MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!

I don't know why I chose that title. I just really like that line from one of the LOTR movies. I can't remember which one. WE'VE BEEN EATING MAGGOTY BREAD FOR THREE STINKING DAYS! Yeeeeah we want some meat!

This blog was really just a quick message to those who might be traveling to Beijing for the Olympics. You don't have to worry about being served dog meat.

DOG MEAT......MMMMM

I was just thinking. I want to start raising dogs for their meat. I will have a whole herd of dogs. It would be much easier than sheep because you wouldn't need a sheep dog. Also, when its time to butcher the dogs you don't have to chase them down and tie them up. You would only need to whistle and hold out a Milk Bone and they'd all come running. Then I'd tell them to play dead. Easy as dog pie.

Maniacal Weeding

When things are slow in the ATV rental business, I do yard work around our building. There is something therapeutic about hacking weeds to death with a hoe. There is great satisfaction in turning around after 45 minutes of merciless chopping and beholding the swath of destruction. Its like mass genocide...with plants.... herbicide. Someone should have given Hitler a rake, a hoe, and a dusty weed choked field and set him loose. The world would be a very different place. I continue my rampage, an unstoppable force until the combined powers of excessive heat, dust inhalation, allergies, and a blood blister finally take their toll and I slink back to my desk, to blog. But I will rise again, hoe in hand, and in that day weeds will tremble and shrink before me, The Bringer of Death, The Reaper.