Thursday, November 02, 2006


So I was walking through the UVSC parking lot after class this morning and I heard a familiar rolling sound. As this sound got closer, I looked up to see a sad looking middle aged woman dragging a backpack on wheels. Backpacks-on-wheels are the greatest inventions ever. I mean while growing up didn't we all think to ourselves, "This backpack is so heavy, I wish I could drag it behind me on two noisy wheels like a moron." I know I did. I mean years of lifting a bag filled with a couple pounds of paper have really done a number on my back. If only these roller-packs were invented a decade sooner, I might have had a normal existance free from this intense pain. The fact that these backpack-godsends have made it into the hands of socially awkward college students makes them all the more attractive. Shall we weigh the pros and cons of the backpack-on-wheels? Lets!

Pros: No more hoisting books on to one's back, less agony.
Cons: Looking like an ass.

Moral: I need a backpack-on-wheels.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, I have nothing to say. I just thought of something.
Yesterday was the day that we all know and love as the day that all the freaks come out of their bedrooms and try to pretend they're something they're not. Crawl back into your holes you dead-beats, its November 1st. Put away your Nightmare Before Christmas DVDs and your face paints, its time to get on with your pathetic lives. I hate people who claim Halloween as their favorite holiday. ALL PEOPLE WITHIN SIGHT OF MY BLOG, HEAR/READ ME! HALLOWEEN IS NOT BETTER THAN CHRISTMAS OR THANKSGIVING! IN FACT, IT IS A CLOSE SECOND TO ST PATRICKS DAY ON THE LIST OF WORST HOLIDAYS EVER! I feel alot better now. Maybe I'm just bitter because I spent a total of ten hours doing math homework yesterday. I finished it all, only to bomb today's math test.


Math blows and I'll tell you why. You can learn to do a math problem, and then they change one number or letter in a formula and it screws up your entire reality. Also, it is useless. I know this is an argument as old as the 7th grade but I'll be damned if it's not true. I hate math. I need to know how to press the add, subtract, multiply, and divide buttons on a calculator. Beyond that, mathematics is worthless to me and 99.9% of people in the world (Percentage is made up.) Math is so time consuming, and I hate that! In subjects like history, you either know something or you don't. In math you can spend ten minutes writing chicken scratches on a paper, and come out with the wrong answer. Who decides what is right and what is wrong mathematically anyway? I'm going to invent my own math theorem, and its entitled "Math should be used to torture criminals theorem" It goes something like this.

"Math < Physical Pain"

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Operation Hooter Heist is a success. Was there ever any doubt that action would be taken? Five years of this legendary struggle have taught me that there is an excess of godless owl stealing heathens... And now that I am once again in posession of this priceless artifact, there is only one thing to be done to stop the escalation of the madness, and to cement this legend in the hearts of men. It will not be easy, but it will be done. It's soul, and my own, will finally rest.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The owl will be mine. The time is nigh, and my retribution will be swift as..... the barn owl. I will not bore you with details.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Tuesday Weekly Review

8/14- I can't remember
8/15- I can't remember
8/16- I can't remember

8/17- I went to institute and talked to people I don't know. I ate some burgers.

8/18- I went camping at Long Lake in the Uintahs with G and Branden. I ate spaghetti-ohs. I drank from a boda bag that tasted strongly of suede. I tried to sleep in a slumber party-style bag. I failed miserably.

8/19- Garit and I took a dip in a glacial lake, and resisted a picture of a "size check" by drawing on my accountability to my future children. Although I must admit there were undocumented size checks aplenty. I hiked two miles back to the car carrying a ridiculously large axe. I learned some dance moves from the popular Disney movie "High School Musical" courtesy of the Wayt family. I learned some songs from the aforementioned musical. I sang said songs in Mercur Cemetary accompanied by my sister Lacey, and my good friends David and Cassie. We had perfect harmony, and appeased the spirit of Jadon Morris, the best miner. We put on a Sing/Dance variety show for the security cameras at the Mercur mine. I observed cool bats doing their thang.

8/20- I went to church and taught a Sunday school lesson. I ate potatoes. I went to Jen Dandy's birthday extraveganza. I soiled the good name of catch phrase. I convulsed in pain on the Van Bloem's floor whilst Tamara applied a witch doctor's remedy for eye infections to my 100% infection-free eyes. I marveled at the sensitivity of the human eye, while forcing my lids open as the searing solution was administered unto me.

8/21- I went freestyle walking at a park with Branden and Al. I craved high speed internet.

This has been Tuesday Weekly Review

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The time of the bomb is in the past, it's behind us. Today is the era of thoughts, dialogue and cultural exchanges." -Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Somebody pinch me. Is the head of the Iranian government preaching the importance of dialogue and cultural exchange? Is he referring to the spreading of fundamental nut job Islam into the western world? If it wasn't so enraging, I would be laughing. The only thoughts, dialogue, and or cultural exchange that the Iranian government has sanctioned has been the selling of nuclear secrets, and the murder of innocent civilians. Not innocent, you say Mr Ahmadinejad? Is that because they think, speak, and are culturally different than you? What dilusion inspires the head of the most restrictive and intolerant government in the world to lecture the United States on thoughts, dialogue, and or cultural exchange? I wonder what thoughts and dialogue are shared when Iranian women are beaten into submission.

I hate CBS. I loathe anyone that provides a global medium for a maniac to spew his venom on the masses. When any crazed lunatic comes to the news pigpen with a bucket a filth, the liberal media swine lap it up. Especially if it besmirches the Bush administration. I bet Mike Wallace wet himself at the prospect of interviewing a man who publicly states he wants to finish what Hitler started. I wonder that the media doesn't understand how much they hurt this country. Our enemies listen to their rhetoric, and jump right on the bandwagon. Ahmadinejad calls Bush a warmonger and an imperialist. So does the far left. *Queue the blaring red flag*

The time of the bomb has not passed, Mahmoud. In fact it hasn't even begun. You will very likely usher it in, and I pray that we usher it out in the most effective way possible.

Here's the article:

Monday, August 07, 2006

Waiting for the WoW.

Imagery that is prominent on Floyd's The Wall album, is that of worms eating the central character's brain. That is WoW to me. I have walled myself into Garit's room and I am waiting for the WoW to eat my brain. I'm even starting to have facist, genocidal thoughts. "Are there any noobs on the server tonight? Get them up against the wall. This one in the AH he doesn't look right to me, get him up against the wall. This one looks Dwarven, and this one's a twink, who let this farmer on to teamspeak? There's one ganking a priest and another with DOTS, if I had my way, I'd have all of you SHOT!