Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Super Mario 3 is harder than I remember. Maybe because I always played it with the Game Genie. I still have one of the cheat codes memorized. SXEZSKOZ. I don't remember what it does. Anyway, I got close to beating the game today, but I fell short. This was always my favorite game.

Will I Freeze To Death?

I refused to buy like 100 gallons of oil for my apartment's furnace, so my brother and I will have to survive on a space heater and layers of clothing. I guess we're doing our part to combat global warming. Hey Garit, Al Gore likes science too. Maybe you guys should talk about climate change together while you watch An Inconvenient Truth on your energy sucking projector of doom.

Well that was easy.

Barring any surprises I have just taken the lead in September blog posts. Sorry Garit, not even lame mobile blogging is a match for my blogging prowess.

I Love This Song

I know I made fun of Gretchen for this...

...But I am prepared to eat my words.
I watched an episode of "Life" after "Heroes" last night, and I really liked it. I generally hate crime/police/forensic dramas because I prefer watching real life crime shows. I am much more interested in crimes that actually occured. Anyway, I liked Life because I am a fan of Damian Lewis, who was also in Band of Brothers. His character is engaging and interesting. So Gretchen, I am sorry for bagging on Life. Although I still hate House, Gilmore Girls, and Bewitched.

I miss playing catch phrase with funny people.

I loved it when we would take as much time as we could to describe our words in the most round about way possible. I think Caleb was the king of that. Yesterday for ward FHE the group I'm in got together and played "get to know you" games. Yeah, I went because there were brownies. Anyway, they decided on playing "Homemade Catchphrase". Everyone wrote between five and ten words and put them in a bowl. Then a person had 30 seconds or so to describe as many of the words as possible. Some of my entries:

High fructose corn syrup
Cat scratch post
Acid-wash jeans

I imagined what it would have been like if it had been a group of my friends playing this game. I tried to tone my entries down because I knew most of these people wouldn't understand my humor, but I felt old when they didn't know what acid-wash jeans were. Most popular entries: tree, car, shoes. Yeah it was a real yawner, but I'd like to try it out with a more lively group.

Baby Update

My brother just informed me the baby's stats.

she was 5 lbs 13 oz, and 18" long and was born on Dad's 50th b-day 09/08/08

and i meant the time.

7:50 AM

that's what people asked me
and i said, i am a dude, i dont worry about such things. i just cared that she was healthy."

Vice Presidential Debates

Anybody else anticipating a highly entertaining debate this Thursday? Which VP candidate is going to out-gaffe the other? This is why McCain picked Palin. If it were Romney vs. Biden on Thursday, nobody would be talking about it. As it is, I am excited to see what happens. High risk, high reward. Or classic comedy. Either way, it will be fun to watch.

Picture of my niece

My brother Derek and his wife Devin had a baby a couple of weeks ago. I had a blog entry about it, but it lacked visual proof. Here it is. She is small and cute, and she is a baby. That's all I know about her. Since I am a man's man, I have not asked when she was born, how much she weighed, or how long she was. Her name is Anisa Afton Jackson. Afton is my grandma's name. Derek tells me the baby is pissed right now.

Last night I dreampt I had superpowers.

I was using telekinesis to interrupt class. It is amazing how disruptive telekinesis is. The teacher kept giving me sour looks as I floated objects around the classroom with my mind. It really got fun when I started launching stuff. It got out of hand when I started to manipulate fire though.

Jones Soda

I really like Jones soda. I like that they use real cane sugar in their soda. Many of you may be asking yourselves, "But Dan, don't you drink diet soda?" Yes I do. Therefore let me clarify, I like that they put real cane sugar in their soda, but I don't drink it. Jones does have a couple sugar-free flavors though, one of which I have tried and am currently drinking. Black Cherry. It tastes good. Now before I get a horde of comments saying "Diet soda gives you cancer," let me stop you. I would rather live with the possibility of cancer than the inevitability of diabetes. I don't want to be one of those old people saying "Tengo diabetes." Davy knows what I am talking about.

My Old Job.

Today I saw the Moonridge Academy girls waiting for a play at the Festival. Only three of them were there when I was, but I miss those kids! I am going to make myself available on call. My school schedule conflicts with the work schedule, but maybe once in a while I can fill in for people. I need the cash flow.

Led Zeppelin IV

Does this album really need any explanation? Maybe. I like it a lot. I own it on vinyl and on cd, and I am ripping it to my computer as I sit here typing. Isn't this the album that says "My sweet Satan" when you play it backwards? I love the seventies.

Maruchan Instant Lunch

This crap is not nearly as good as regular ramen noodles. What is with the fake vegetables? Gag me. I accidentally bought these instead of real ramen, and now I am suffering the consequences. P.S. Ramen tastes amazing when you drain the water and add Tabasco. Just give it a try.

12 blog posts by the end of the day.

Is it possible? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Only if their quality suffers greatly. But September is about quantity, not quality. 12 POSTS OR DEATH!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Mobile Blogging?

I tried to figure out how to mobile blog, but it didn't work for me. I feel very disadvantaged.

Friday, September 19, 2008

New Song

I am writing a new song entitled "Have You Got It, Yet?". It sounds really good so far. I should record stuff. I have the means, and the time. I think I'll do it after I finish writing the song. There are a few things I need to put down.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It has been a few days

My sister and some of her friends were down for the weekend. We had a good time and she brought us food, which was greatly appreciated.
On Saturday night/Sunday morning we went on a Frisco excursion. It was fun, but we didn't get back home til 6:00 am. It was killer. On the drive home I saw a super massive bull elk chilling on the side of the road. That was the highlight of the adventure for me.

R.I.P. Richard Wright, Pink Floyd keyboardist. I remember the first time I listened to Wish You Were Here, I was over at a friend's house and I was in early elementary school. I knew my friend's dad had served a mission to Japan, and my friend had tried to describe some trippy Japanese music to me. Anyway, the sound of Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here", (particularly the keyboards), was such that I got it all mixed up and was thoroughly convinced that I was jamming to Japanese music. So thanks Richard Wright, for confusing me as a child.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Yeah, Right Whoopi

Be very afraid Whoopi Goldberg. After overturning Roe V. Wade, the natural leap is to re-institute the practice of slavery. What a ridiculous and outlandish statement. The only thing you will ever be a slave to is your own retarded logic.

So wanting to legislate abortion rights instead of having the courts shove it down our throats is akin to a constitutional amendment to legalize slavery? The end of slavery was legislated and ratified as part of the constitution. You are a moron for even making that connection. Shouldn't you be off making some crass Bush joke somewhere? Why is McCain on that trashy show anyway?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

4.99 Papa Murphy's Large Pepperoni

I couldn't help myself. I bought a pizza. This is the last day of their promotional deal. Don't judge me. Counting Crows "This Desert Life" is a great album that I am revisiting right now. I forgot how much I like the song Speedway.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Reality of Dinner

It was good to see my Dad, and to get a bellyful of Lupita's Mexican food. He is going to buy a natural gas powered Honda Civic. It is bottom of the thirteenth inning of the Sox-Rays game. I am ready for this to be over. The Sox have stranded runners on 1st and 2nd base three innings in a row now, and I'm getting tired of sitting at my computer.

Possibility of Dinner

My dad is in town. Right now he is napping on my brother's bed. Hopefully he will take us out to eat. All I've eaten today is an apple.

Bleh France

Just what every American is dying to hear. 80% of France supports Obama. Does the other 20% support an Islamic Republic?

Garit <3 Nicholas Cage

Hey Garit are you excited about the new Nicholas Cage movie Bangkok Dangerous? It sure seems to have won the critics over. LOL


50 posts in 2008. Thanks largely to my 20 posts in the first ten days of September. I may be the poster boy for inadequacy in the real world, but in the blogosphere, I pwn face.

Matt Damon's Criteria

Matt Damon's interviewed comments on Sarah Palin were HILARIOUS! Now all of a sudden Liberals are concerned about the inexperience, leadership capabilities, and the vague political positions of the Republican ticket? Just a little reality check Matt, if Democrats actually gave a crap about that then Hilary would be the democratic nominee for president. This election was "a really bad Disney movie" long before Palin was announced as the Republican candidate for VP. Do the phrases "Yes we can, Change, and Hope For America" ring a bell? These are the silly vagueries that the American left embraced months ago, when they started touting Obama as America's savior. What does any of it mean? Who cares, he's a black guy who speaks like JFK! What a great story. blah blah blah.

Also, does he really NEED to know if Sarah Palin believes that dinosaurs lived here 4,000 years ago, he wasn't quite clear enough on that. I love that this is such a terrible concern. It sounded to me that Matt Damon's most important requirement for having the nuclear codes is the correct chronology of a prehistoric species that was extinct millions of years ago. Obviously there are plenty of things to be concerned about. Foreign policy experience, economic experience, etc. FREAKING DINOSAURS! ROFL

Radiohead Live Concert

NPR All Songs Considered just released a Radiohead concert podcast. Two hours of pure unadulterated Radiohead music. And don't worry Garit, I don't think you have to listen to it on iTunes. So far it sounds really good.

Pig With Lipstick... Oops.

I will give Barack the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he was trying to say that Palin is a pig. But come on! Everybody knows that "lipstick" is a political buzzword after Palin's Republican Convention speech. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to make that connection. The moment after Obama made his gaffe the crowd stood, laughed, and cheered. They obviously drew the same conclusion. So whether he meant it that way or not, he said it, and he shouldn't have. Can you blame Republicans for jumping down his throat? He basically gift wrapped it for them.

And please Obama stop trying to take the political high ground, and act offended that your comment has been taken out of context. What if McCain, while referring to Obama's call for change said something along the lines of "You can dress a monkey in a suit, but its still a monkey"? He would get murdered by the press, and the democrats would be "outraged" and "demand an apology". At the end of the day, politics is a big game. It is cutthroat. Either side will take any advantage that they can at the drop of a hat. Both sides engage in it. It is plain for everyone to see. So basically your act is transparent, old, and played.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

It's Almost Election Time Again.

For all of you who are interested in following the upcoming presidential elections, I decided to post a link to the Real Clear Politics poll. It takes several of the top polls and averages them out. I knew that the Sarah Palin selection would make this an interesting election. Still, I was surprised at how much of a bounce McCain actually got from it. Here's to playoff baseball and presidential elections.

Yet Another Reason To Vote McCain

World wants Obama as president: poll

So, I am wondering when the world is going to get wise. We don't give a damn who you want as president of United States. News Flash: Americans are different than Europeans. For better or worse, your ideal government for the majority of us would be the worst thing ever. So take your secularism, and your social programs, and your aging populations, and keep doing your thing and let us do ours. I don't root for the president of France. I don't keep my eyes peeled for information on the next chancellor of Germany. So leave us alone, and we'll be there to bail you out when Russia comes knocking on your door.

God Bless America

I was feeling rather patriotic today, so I decided to reflect that in my blog. Best rendition ever.


Happy 50th Birthday, Father.

My dad has no idea that this blog exists. I am just using his 50th birthday as an excuse to write another blog. September blog #14, complete.

Monday, September 08, 2008

The Problem With NIN

Nine Inch Nails= A guilty pleasure of mine. I am a fan. However, I recognize that NIN has a time and a place. Church, for example, is not the time to rock out. Here is the problem. The majority of NIN's songs have an industrial beat, so often, unlike other alternative music, the rhythm will consist of nothing more than a series of blips, taps, ticks, or other mechanized sounds. So there I am, minding my business at church, when I start tapping on my scriptures. No biggie, just a couple of taps, kind of a nervous habit. Tap, tap, tap, tap, and before I know it, my mind has jumped into a raging rendition of Wish, from the album Broken. Anyone who knows the song, knows its not a church song. In fact, its even irreverent for a NIN song. Moral? Stop tapping on your scriptures.

It's Almost October

I can't believe its almost fall again. I think fall is my favorite season. It cools down so I can wear cool jackets. It gets nice and crisp. It is perfect adventure weather. Best of all it is the time for playoff baseball. The Sox have pretty much got their playoff spot clinched. Now it is just a question of whether or not they will take the Division or the Wild Card. I think they can pass the Rays for the division. Hopefully they do because I would prefer to face the AL Central meatball in the first round to playing against the Angels.

I remember the last time I was in Cedar City for the fall. It was 2004. There were adventures aplenty, the presidential election was heated, and the Yankees were poised to go to the world series. Down 3-0, the Red Sox stormed back 4 games in a row to defeat the Yankees and went on to sweep the Cards for their first World Series Championship since 1918. It was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed. I know its hard to understand unless you're a baseball fan, but i have never been so elated. Hopefully this upcoming fall will be equally interesting. Only sans the Yankees.

To My Fans.

I am planning on performing a song of mine at open mic night down in Cedar hopefully this week. However I am unsure which song I want to perform. So I was thinking of conducting a poll among those that are familiar with my work. Well lets make it a little less formal. If you have any preferences post them here, and I'll make a decision. I'll let you know how the performance goes. If it goes.

Lightning Storms

Hey Garit, is this post better? Does this meet your criteria for a post? For all who are wondering, unless your post includes science, close-ups of braided wires, a rant on PETA, or a self-taken picture of your forehead, Garit does not consider it a true post.

How Is This News?

I am hungry

Maybe I will make some spaghetti.


...Is officially on. Get ready for a whole month of worthless posts. Garit is going down.

Object: Post more in the month of September than Garit.


Crazy Uncle Dan. My brother Derek and his wife Devin just had a baby girl, Anisa Afton Jackson. She has a weird belly button in the picture they sent. Besides that she looks entirely normal. Congratulations to them. If I ever get pictures in my email I'll probably slap 'em on here. Since I'm sure my blog readers are dying to look at a picture of a baby.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Johnny Depp In A Dark Shadows Movie?!?!?!?

None of you care. I understand that. In fact I would be blown away if any of you had the slightest idea of what I am talking about. But believe me when I tell you this is the most excited I have ever been about any movie.

Dark Shadows was a TV series that originally aired from 1966-1971. It was a super low budget daytime gothic soap that centered around the cursed Collins family, who had lived on an estate in New England for hundreds of years. The main character is Barnabas Collins, a vampire who has been chained in a coffin for 195 years, and is unwittingly released by a grave robber in 1966. It also bounces back and forth in time, dealing with generations of the Collins family that are plagued by werewolves, witches, ghosts, etc.

My dad watched it as a kid, and introduced me to the reruns of it when I was like 5 years old. I still remember sneaking down to watch the reruns with my dad when they would air in the middle of the night. Later on I watched them on Scifi channel with my younger brothers and sisters. We have all always been huge fans. But it has always been sort of a secret. The story itself had some really quality moments, but it was really low budget, very campy, and very drawn out (like any soap opera). So it wasn't exactly the kind of show you brought your friends over to watch. Even so, I always knew that there were a lot of closet fans out there. In 1991 they tried to make a new Dark Shadows series that was cancelled after the first season. I thought it was dead and gone forever.

I never knew this, but in an interview with Entertainment Weekly last year, Depp stated: "When I was a kid I wanted to be Barnabas... He was super-mysterious, with that really weird hairdo and the wolf's-head cane." It has been confirmed that Johnny Depp's production company has bought the rights to make a Dark Shadows movie!!! Tim Burton is going to direct it, and it is pretty certain that Johnny Depp will play the part of Barnabas Collins. The story that I have secretly loved since I was five is now going to be a freaking blockbuster. It is so weird.

Johnny Depp will make a killer vampire.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Truly Disturbing

Pepperoni, anyone? I like that the pig looks so conflicted. It's how anyone would feel if they were asked to give the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good. This pig is a true hero. Why don't they make advertisements like they used to? The Victorian period was truly the golden age for disturbing advertisements.

Thursday, September 04, 2008


Roll call- All readers who had a crush on Lenni on Ghostwriter in the early 90's please make it known here. The other day I was fooling around on Youtube and I remembered a certain episode where Lenni writes a song entitled, "You Gotta Believe". Ghostwriter helps come up with the lyrics, and then it becomes a hit and she shoots a music video with the help of her friends.

Cool, huh? I remember I was a big-time Lenni fan. So after watching this video a few days ago I decided to do some searching and find out what Lenni is doing today. She was played by the actress Blaze Berdahl. Naturally I first checked imdb. Unfortunately it didn't show a lot of recent work. So was Blaze just a flash in the pan? Is she just another former child star that quickly faded into obscurity? I had to be sure. I googled her name, and made a spectacular discovery. For all of you who don't care, just know there is a special place in hell reserved for you. Anyway, I find a website http://www.blazeberdahl.net/ and I click on it in eager anticipation. There I find out she does voice work: Commercials, advertisements, radio spots, audio books and such. Anything I'd know, you ask? BET YOUR LIFE! She is the voice of the Swiffer Duster commercial. HOW COOL IS THAT? I've heard Lenni a thousand times and I never knew. Oh yeah, she also does a bunch of stuff for HGTV, MTV, and FUSE.

Case closed. And I didn't even need a floating ghostly orb apparition with an affinity for words to help me along the way. Google is the new Ghostwriter.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I broke a guitar string.

Jobs are so hard to find in Cedar City. I give up. I am currently a self-employed novelist. I like the sound of that, but there's not much money in writing a mediocre fantasy novel at a snail's pace. I was hoping to perform some of my songs soon at the local coffeehouse, but one of my guitar strings snapped. Now what? Where are my priorities? Food or strings? This is a tough one.

One of the best feelings in the world is sticking it to the bookstore, by the way. I walked into my american indian class today surrounded by people who paid like 50 bucks for a used book. I basked in my glory as I stared down at my slightly worn copy of the same book with a well-placed pink 1$ sticker on the cover. BOOM SHAKA LAKA!

Monday, September 01, 2008


This intro music is so cool. It just popped into my head this morning. It is amazing the kind of stuff I remember from my childhood. The part on the trampoline and the apple getting sliced are ingrained in my head forever. I don't know why.