Saturday, March 22, 2008

My worst nightmare.,21985,23361900-661,00.html

"What's that noise in the bushes?"
"Oh it's probably just a stray dog.... or a creepy gnome."

Why don't things like this happen to me? I'm careless. I stay out late. I spend an abnormal amount of time with lawn gnomes and pigeon scaring owls. Is it too much to ask to be terrorized by a real live bow-legged Argentine gnome?

Pot Burger? Are you kidding me?

It sounds like something from a frat boy comedy a la Adam Sandler, which might have warranted a courtesy laugh if it wasn't seriously endangering lives. I was wondering why these two guys didn't get a stiffer punishment until I saw the honorable judge John Pope. L-O-Freaking-L! Did they drag him out of the streets or out of the north pole. I can't really decide. I seriously thought it was a joke.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Blogging in class

Who's idea was it to have an econ 1010 class in a computer lab? I have 5 tabs open in firefox and not one is class-related. Economics is interesting... But not as interesting as looking up mountain biking trails.

I just answered a question... anyway back to what's really important: Blogging.

A lady from work told me that my haircut makes me look like one of the guys on Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh... I don't remember which one. I didn't anticipate that cutting my hair would make me look like a sixteen-year-old preteen heart throb. I honestly just think she's crazy.

Maverick large hot dogs are .50 cents off right now so I'm 'frank'-ly living in hot dog heaven... smoked sausage loaded with sauerkraut, relish, mustard, ketchup, etc. All of you toddlers who are groaning, go open yourself a can of alphabet soup and slurp it down with a juice box. Keep buying your Wonder bread and your freaking lunchables. I am an adult... And I like rotten cabbage on my hot dogs.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

It's been a long time...

...since I've heard "What's The Frequency Kenneth?" If you don't like that song, then you don't like me because it is an integral part of my soul. I'm generally not a big fan of R.E.M. but today I heard this song on Pandora, and I was whisked away to my early junior high days spent listening to Q-99. The tremolo effect on the guitars in this song knocks my socks off.

Client #9


Should I relish in the destruction of this man's life?
Short answer: Yes.
Hey Governor, you have interns right? Why are you paying thousands of dollars for what all the other politicians are getting for free? Don't they have airport bathroom stalls in upstate New York?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I chopped off my hair like the weak-willed loser that I am.

It's true. If I had a computer to store my pictures on I'd show you before and after pics. I take a small degree of comfort in knowing that I shattered my old record and basically put myself permanently out of reach of my little brother Derek. We've had this competition running since we were small children. Up until Derek's sophomore year (the year after I graduated) I held the record. Derek was able to withstand my parents long enough to beat my record substantially, partly because his hair is curly so he could get away with it longer. After my mission however I didn't cut my hair besides some trims in the back for over a year. I took back the record with gusto but eventually I caved. This time around I went for well over a year without even a trim. My hair made it past my shoulders and I saw that it was glorious. However, all good things must come to an end, and as the sun must always set, so too must I bow myself to the norms of society. My brother is now married though with a baby on the way. So he basically conceded defeat, although he didn't rule out making a run at my record after retirement. As it stands now though, this is truly the end of an era.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Staying Positive in The SUU Computer Lab

I am going to buy a computer on credit. I know, I know. Credit is bad. However I have become so dependent on computers for so much of my hobbies/interests that I am honestly feeling like a fish out of water. Music, photography, social contacts, information, songwriting, sports, school all seriously suffer because I have no computer to call my own. So I resolve this day to buy a computer on credit no matter what my mom says! She's not the boss of me!

I'm surprised that junior high kids don't all just kill themselves. They are miserable people, inside and out. Working with junior high aged kids in a residential treatment center is like an anthropological study of a different species. A cannibalistic species that feeds off pain and crappy music. Actually sometimes they can all be great. It's just creepy how quickly they can turn into pure evil.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

X Files is my only reason to get out of bed.

X Files is a cool show. Half the time I am held transfixed by a cool story. The other half of the time I'm making fun of it for crappy special effects or ridiculous plots. It is all I ever wanted. Watch the show opening with the music... My favorite thing ever. Has anyone ever dreamed of a stranger montage? My favorite parts are the ball with rays of light coming out of it like a cheap party decoration, the elongated face, the mirror image of a seed germinating with the frames sped up, and the image of the white silhouette falling into the blue hand with the red spot. WTF?! I could be having the worst day of my life, and if you played that opening montage I would be compelled to laugh. I like Mulder and Scully's high up secret government contact, "X". He is this badass black dude. I want to be him when I grow up. Every time he makes an appearance somebody dies. He solves problems the way they should be solved. I don't like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The End.