Saturday, July 12, 2008


I don't know why I chose that title. I just really like that line from one of the LOTR movies. I can't remember which one. WE'VE BEEN EATING MAGGOTY BREAD FOR THREE STINKING DAYS! Yeeeeah we want some meat!

This blog was really just a quick message to those who might be traveling to Beijing for the Olympics. You don't have to worry about being served dog meat.


I was just thinking. I want to start raising dogs for their meat. I will have a whole herd of dogs. It would be much easier than sheep because you wouldn't need a sheep dog. Also, when its time to butcher the dogs you don't have to chase them down and tie them up. You would only need to whistle and hold out a Milk Bone and they'd all come running. Then I'd tell them to play dead. Easy as dog pie.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Maniacal Weeding

When things are slow in the ATV rental business, I do yard work around our building. There is something therapeutic about hacking weeds to death with a hoe. There is great satisfaction in turning around after 45 minutes of merciless chopping and beholding the swath of destruction. Its like mass genocide...with plants.... herbicide. Someone should have given Hitler a rake, a hoe, and a dusty weed choked field and set him loose. The world would be a very different place. I continue my rampage, an unstoppable force until the combined powers of excessive heat, dust inhalation, allergies, and a blood blister finally take their toll and I slink back to my desk, to blog. But I will rise again, hoe in hand, and in that day weeds will tremble and shrink before me, The Bringer of Death, The Reaper.