Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Truly Awful Christmas Song

Is this The Pretenders singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," or did Phoebe Buffay from Friends just walk into the room and try to cleanse my aura? This is so bad. Here is a Christmas-themed list of things I'd rather do than listen to this song:

-I would rather spend Christmas in prison than listen to this song.

-I would rather have George Michael sing "Last Christmas" one inch away from my face than listen to this song.

-I would rather be force fed one thousand regular candy canes than listen to this song.

-I would rather go to the Black Friday Jammy Jam at the South Towne Center.

-I would rather be haunted by the ghost of Burl Ives.

-I would rather be transported back in time to the set of Santa Clause with Tim Allen.

Please feel free to submit your own "I would rathers" in the comments section below.


K. Thom said...

I would rather this year's gingerbread house entirely from saltine crackers and Elmer's wood glue.

K. Thom said...


Lorraine_in_Spain said...

Jammy Jam. That's my favorite.

I would rather be enslaved at the North Pole, which turns out to be a violent gulag using and abusing little people who were discarded from TLC's smattering of unsuccessful reality shows, and forcing them to make children's toys in oppressive, 16 hour shift, non-unionized conditions that make china look like "the world's best boss".

Ball Lightning said...

the thought of George Michael singing directly into my face is truly horrifying.

Tiffani said...

ew. That one is definitely grating.

I would rather spend an entire day talking religion with Amy Grant.